I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He kissed a someone with a penis
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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