I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
