Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
