we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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