it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
