How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
