Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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