ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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