belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Who did Billy Mays play for?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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