My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
