i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Blow job season was short but glorious.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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