Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
