And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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