We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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