Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
