She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
