there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
