WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize