the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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