My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
