We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
