dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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