FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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