This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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