I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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