she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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