And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
