Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
