You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
