I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
