I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think your dad took our porno
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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