i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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