i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize