im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
where am i from again
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
