Duck Duck Cougar?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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