Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
