He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
