I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize