HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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