Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
