I can text with my tongue
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize