This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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