i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
His hands were made for my vagina.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
They are going to name an STD after you.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
