I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
what day is it and did you see me today?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
