Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
