I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just tell him i said nine months
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
