even my farts smell like vagina
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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