literally had 100 drinks last night.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
