If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
