just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
