do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
