You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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