dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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