I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
