oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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