Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize