i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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