Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Life without a bra equals bliss.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
