i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
